Hye guys... It's been such a long time i didn't update my blog... I'm so busy at the moment till I don't have time for myself too... See!!! I got a news to tell you... I already cut my hair. Shoulder length that makes me looks younger and cuter.... I have the pictures of my new looks with new haircut but.... I won't publish tme here as I want u guys to see me personally...

1) Lubang ape yang rasanye hangat,nikmat dan
nyaman?
Answer: LUBANGun pagi2, tarik selimut pas tu
tido balik.

2) Minyak ape yang disukai oleh lelaki?
Answer: MINYAKsikan pertandingan bolasepak
Liga Perdana Inggeris (EPL).

3) Kuih ape yang bungkusnya di dalam, isinya di
luar?
Answer: Kuih salah bikin.

4) Binatang ape power Karate?
Answer: Kuda belang.cube kira brape black
belt dia ade.

5) Siape yang menemukan dompet kulit?
Answer: Yang menemukan dompet kulit
tersebut tolong pulangkan kepada saye.

7) Pintu ape yang walaupun dengan 10 org pun tak
leh nak tolak?
Answer: Pintu yang ade tulis 'TARIK'

8) Saya ade 3 kepala,4 tangan dan 5
kaki...siapakah saya?
Answer: Pembohong...

9) Apa dia 'Jauh di mata, dekat di hati'?
Answer: Usus

10) Binatang tubuhnya kat kepala?
Answer: Kutu rambut

11) Nenek sape jalannya meloncat-loncat?
Answer: Neneknye si katak

12) Kenape lelaki jarang kene penyakit anjing gila?
Answer: Sebab lelaki ni kan 'buaya'

13) Ape beza sekretari baik ngan sekretari kurang
baik?
Answer: - Sekretari baik.....'Selamat pagi tuan'
Sekretari kurang baik...........'Dah pagi ni tuan'

14) Ape persamaan Michael Jordan ngan Michael
Jackson?
Answer: Dua-dua tak kenal korang...hehe

15) Tukang ape yang kalau dipanggil, die
menjenguk ke atas?
Answer: Tukang gali kubur

16) Nak mencari sikit punye susah, bile dah dapat
buang, ape bendanya?
Answer: Tahi hidung

17) Ape persamaan kain jemuran ngan telefon?
Answer: Dua-dua kalau dah 'kringgg' bole
diangkat...

18) Kenape pokok kelapa kat depan rumah harus
ditebang?
Answer: Mestilah kene tebang, sapen nak
cabut pokok kelapa gile ape...

19) Gajah terbang dengan ape?
Answer: Dengan susah payahnyer......


*Kredit keapda sesiapa yg baut. Aku tukang copy jer.

Hal macam nih mesti pernah jadik kat banyak orang. Member sendiri passing no tepon kat orang lain. Siut tul lah. Lately mmg aku dapat call dari no pelik2. Banyak nyer no belah2 Shah Alam.

Aku bukannya apa... Bengang arr gak. Suka2 jer bagi no tepon aku kat member2 korang eiks. Busan lah. Asek2 dapat call dr stranger. Dr zaman budak2 kecik sampai dah besar camnih pun ada orang guna kaedah macam nih untuk berkenalan rupanya.

Bende camnih jadi bukan kat aku sorang jer tp kat orang lain gak. Susah sgt ker nk respect orang lain nyer hak untuk ada privacy? Bukan nyer susah pun kan.

Jadi pada sapa2 yang buat camnih terutama utk no aku silalah berhenti. Aku guess budak2 yg kat Shah Alam nih gak. Aku takmo tau sapa, tp jgn buat lagi. Papai!

Hari Jumaat tuh Nik kuar spital. Tp, aku tak visit pun dia. Tak hantar pun dia sampai umah. Aku pun sibuk nk uruskan macam2 hal lagi. Dah lah aku hilang 100. Memang hilanglah. Kalau hilang 10 aku tk lah terkilan sgt. Nih 100. Boleh wat macam2 dengan duit tuh. Mana ntah aku letak pun aku tk sure.

Nik marah kot sebab aku macam tk care. Ntahlah... Banyak mende nak kene setel dulu. Susah sgt ker dia nak faham. Semalam dia call suruh tido umah dia jer. Boleh borak2 ngan family dia. Upss... Aku rasa cam tk sedap lah nk lepak ngan family dia.

Aku ngan dia bukan nyer ada apa2 pun. Lagipun aku mengakulah mmg ada rasa rendah diri bila ngan family dia. Aku harap dia faham lah apa yg aku cuba maksudkan. Aku dah segan sikit ngan family dia since aku tau siapa family dia yg sebenar. Siapa aku kat mata dorang.

Nik terkilan kot sebab aku takmo pegi umah dia. Ntah lah. Kalau dia kat tempat aku sure dia faham apa yg aku rasa. Macam2 tau....

Mungkin pasnih susah nk jumpa Nik sal kaki dia tak elok lagi. camner lak dia nk dtg Shah Alam kan. Aku plak mmg segan nk gi Subang tuh. Tgklah, maybe b4 dia balik Munich aku akan jumpa dia gak. Mungkin kitorang nih bukan ditakdirkan untuk bersama kot. Macam byk jer halangan.

*Sapa2 ada mp3 Amylea yg dia perform lagu Hati Ini Telah Dilukai bg tau aku. Nk download sebab dia nyanyi best malam tuh. The most outstanding performance malam tuh.
*Aidil kuar gak. Comelnyer....

Hari nih asyik duduk depan pc jer. Tak reply mesje dr sapa2 pun. Busy nak sipakan report. Alhamdulillah dah siap pun tadi. Letih rasanyer. Nik telefon tadi. Ckap dia kuar spital esok pagi. Mintak aku kemaskan barang2 dia. Mak dia takde. Jadi dia mintak aku lah jadi tukang kemas kot.

Bukanlah tak boleh nak kemaskan barang2 dia tapi esok aku busy. Dia nih macam susah jer nak faham. Rasanya macam ada potensi bergaduh lagi jer nih. Risau lah plak kalau memanjang asyik camnih.

Semalam lepas habis tulis blog, dapat call dari Ard. Ard memang macam faham jer. Dia faham yang aku need sum1 macam dia untuk bercakap on that moment. Lama dah kenal dgn Ard. Dah nak masuk dua tahun kot. Kenal dia pun dari frenster. Masa tuhArd mesej ckp nak add pasal nama sama ngan ex gf dia.

Masa tuh aku tk letak gamba pun kt frenster. Tapi dia sincere nak kawan gak. Ok lah tuh. Aku pulak masa tuh tak sincere nak kawan dgn dia. Aku accept dia pasal dia org first yang mesej aku personally untuk jadi member. Masa tuh memang aku baru berjinak2 dgn frenster. Lagipun dia memang hensem. Tuh lah pasal accept.

Bila kenal dia lama-kelamaan, masa tuh dia kejer kat Putrajaya lagi, selalulah YM ngan dia. Kira kitorg dah kenal hati budi masing2. Dah lama gak berkawan kat YM baru berni bagi no fon kat dia walaupun dia dah mintak banyak kali. kene percaya dgn orang dulu baru boleh bagi no fon.

Pastuh raya tahun tuh jugak dia call ajak gi open house umah dia. tapi aku tak pwergi sebab tak tau macam mana nak pergi Wangsa Melawati. Member sumer pun sibuk nak attend open house umah kawan2 dorang. So, tak pergilah umah dia. Dia marah gak ngan aku sbb aku mmg dah janji nak dtg kan... Takperlah..

Lama-kelamaan makin baik. Tapi bila dia start kejer ngan JPJ memang susah nak jumpa dia online lagi. Rasa susah ah sikit sebab dulu selalu share citer ngan dia. Last sekali jumpa dengan dia pun tahun lepas waktu2 macam nih jugak kot. Tapi memeng serunuk kawan dengan dia. Sebab dia pandai amik hati aku.

Malam tadi dia call. Macam tahu jer aku tak sedap hati. Borak2 ckit. Flirt2 ckit. Aahahaha. Kalau fikirkan macam manalah kita boleh berkawan ngan org yg memang kita tk pernah kenal. siap boleh baik pulak tuh. Rasanya kalau bercerita dengan dia mmg crystal clear lah stori kitorg. Takder nak simpa2, ker sorok2. Tuhlah pasal byk kali nangis dengan dia. Dia pun paham dah. Dia macam abg2. Tapi takder lah tua sgt. Tua tiga tahun jer.

Tuhlah dia kejer jauh sgt dah skang nih. Jauh kat Temerloh tuh. Aku pernah cakap gunalah nama bapak dia mintak tukar ke KL. family sumer dok Kl, dia jer sesat kat sana. Alku mmg tau dia tak boleh sangat hidup kat sana tuh. Tapi bila part kejer, skema plak Ard nih. Kalau aku, guna jer nama bapak mintak tukar KL.

Ard, kalau baca nih tukar jerlah KL. Boleh lepak borak2 selalu. Awak kan abg saya. Erkssssss....

Ok nak sambung buat report LI. tadi baru call Dino cakap nak hantar penilaian tuh minggu depan seakali dengan report. Lah... Dia punya jawapan sikit punya gembira. "Ok2... Tak kisah lah." siut jer buat aku menggelabah selama nih....

Hati Ini Telah Dilukai - Kris Dayanti

Semalaman
Terkenangkan diri mu
Mengalir airmata ku
Membasahi pipi
Mengapa kau
Sanggup meninggalkan diri ku
Sedangkan kau tahu
Perasaan ini

* :
Kau berjanji
Akulah kekasih mu
Sanggup ku singkirkan semua cinta yang lalu
Tidak ku duga ini akan terjadi
Kata perpisahan yang kau pinta

** :
Biarkanlah
Biarkan aku hidup sendirian
Tak ingin ku mengenangkan
Kisah lama
Biarkanlah
Biarkan aku hidup sendirian
Kerana hati ini telah dilukai

( Ulang Rangkap *, ** )

( Lagu : Ajai / Nasser Abu Kassim - Lirik : Ajai )


I'm listening to this song. If he knows how do I feel at this moment, the situation might be different. Yesterday, I went to a friend's house at TTDI. I didn't expect to see him. After a short chat with my friend, he came. I didn't know what to do. I looked at him and gave him a smile. I got myself closer and wishing him "Hepi Bday... You're 29".

He smiled then we both have a short moment together. My friend gave a chance for us to share the memorable moment. He did ask me a few questions. "How's life?", "Dah ada orang lain ker?", "U kuat merajuk lagi ker cam dulu?", "Sihat?"... Sayu jer rasa. We didn't talk much. I get into his friend room and talked with his friend. I'm sure he knows what do I feel....

Susah nak cakap. Bila tengok dia rasa cam lemah. Rasa macam dah tak ada harapan dah hidup ini. Buat apa jer dah tak boleh. Bila nampak muka dia jer rasa nak nangis. Dulu takder lah pulak kaut nangis camnih. Tapi dengan dia memang banyak sangat nangis. Banyak sangat simpan rasa kecik hati. Banyak sangat rasa jeles. Mungkinlah sebab dia macam tak care sangat. Dia selalu cakap "U tak faham lah...." Yer lah... aku nih budak. Tak tau apa.

Sebab aku sayang dia, aku dah tak ingat dah ex bf sebelum tuh. Masa tuh susah gak nak recover. Tapi bila dia ada, sekejap jer boleh lupa semua cerita2 dengan ex bf sebelum tuh. Aku sayang dia lebih dari diri sendiri.

Apa yang aku nampak life dia pun macam tak terurus jer. Dulu, memang aku boeh jaga makan pakai dia. Tapi sekarang, aku pun sedar siapa aku dalam hidup dia. Kasih sayang aku dia tak pernah nampak. Pengorbanan aku tak pernah nak dihargai. "Tapi u tau tak, I tak kisah sumer tuh? I accept u as the way u are."

Dulu, aku selalu nyanyi sama2 ngan dia. Tiap2 malam kuar sama. Sampai aku sanggup ponteng kelas untuk jumpa dia. tapi nasib baiklah aku boleh maintain CPA aku lagi. Tuh pun dia boleh terkejut ngna CPA aku. tak caya lah tuh kot. Yer lah, muka jer nampak muka enjoy, tapi aku suka belajar sebenarnya. Takder rajin tapi 'gifted' kot. Senang nak faham apa orang cakap.

Sebenarnya, macam susah nak bukak hati untuk orang lain. tapi kalu orang lain tuh boleh buat aku lupa kat dia memang aku akan sayang orang tuh gila babi nyer. Aku takkan but salah lagi. Tapi, sampai sekarang aku tak boleh... Aku ingatkan lepas nih bolehlah aku balik semula pandang Shah Alam nib seluas2nyer. Tapi makin pandang makin rasa tak mampu nak teruskan.

U... Jaga diri baik2. Do pray for me so that I can face it. Do pray for me to become stronger.


*Jangan buat komen.

I watched AF on the tv last night. It's a nice show to be watched by the whole family. Instead on looking at Aidil's performance (I like to see his cheeky smile), i did watch other performance.

Kefli's sang the song titled 'Berhenti Berharap' by SO7. I thougt his performance would be dull as I know he's the 'sengau' singer with a good looking face. But my prediction was wrong. He sang the song very well.

The way he sang, touched me. The song had a very deep memory in my heart. It's the song I taught my ex. My ex didn't know Malay song very well. I sang the song to him. He started to like the song after watching the tv series, 'Sephia'. From that moment he always ask me to sing the song for him although everyone knos the fact that I'm a bad singer.

After the break-up, this song be the most saddest song to me. I don't want to listen to this song anymore as the lyrics just like what had happend to me and him. if everyone said they touched with the way Kefli sang, I felt much more sad than anyone.

If eberyone knows how does it feels when someone we love go away. We're are the losers. I'm the loser. It's a mistake to teach him the song taht finally impacted me. What a fact... The lyrics goes exactly to our relationship.

If the rest cried for the impact of he song, do they know how much pain that I felt?? ~i n s a n e~

Yesterday I went to SJMC to visit Nik. He did ask me to bring 'air kelapa'. I looked for air kelapa for about 20 minutes until finally I realized that a mamak restaurant at Section 20 selling air kelapa. I did ask her brother to turn back to Shah Alam just for that air kelapa.

I was uncertain on that moment as it has been a long time I never talk with Nik face to face. And for the whole day I have to take care of him at the hospital. Berdebar sikit. I still remember when his friend asked me to accompany him to pick a friend at the airport. The one who we picked was Nik. I didn't talk with him. I just stared at him and keep silence. But deep in my heart I really want to have a chat with him. Eventhough for a short while....

Finally, after being asked by his family to take care of him on that day, I agreed. I brought his favorite magazines and a cheese cake. When I arrived at the ward, I saw him smiling. His mother was also at the room, taking care of him.

I just smiled. I had a short chat with his mother, who's a very nice person. That was the first time i saw his mother. Takut sebenarnya... i did called his mother 'makcik'. Hmm I wonder if his mother bother me to call her makcik not D*t*n as what Nik's friends did. I hope his mother doesn't mind. I forgot that his mother holding that title.

After his mother leaving us to go to Taiping for a 'kenduri' I was the only one who's going to take care of Nik. We both silence again. Deep in my heart I knew that I have to boost the situation. Yes, I have to.

Finally... I speak out!!! I still remember the first line deliverd to him. "NAK TENGOK KAKI TU CAMNER BOLEH TAK?" That simple line was the starting point for both of us. Yes, that line was the turbulance that creates a good communiaction between us.

I started to ask him for an apology for being to childish for the things that I did. He too. That was a good start for us to recover again. I think his accident may be good for us. Erks....

I spent my time with Nik until 6.00 pm when I did ask his brother to bring me home. I'll be visiting him again soon.

To Nik, I hope you really understand what the word "IF" means to both of us. I'm afraid to face all it when you go back to Munich soon and I'll be here alone waiting for you, not for a day, buy it took years for you to finish your studies. We never know what will happen. Keep the word "IF" tightly.


* AF- Aku suka tengok Aidil sebab muka dia cute, dia good boy, daia ada cheeky smile. Tapi mesti tak lama lagi dia kuar. Wahahaha MAT BELIA!!!

I looked at the clock. A few hours from now the date is going to change to 30 June. It's his birthday. My ex's birthday. His 29th birthday. Last year, on this day he called me, telling me nobody's wishing him a birthday wish. Me, be the first person wishes himfor his 28th birthday before that night Tengku surprised him with a party at Hyatt Subang. I didn't join as I was at Section 7 with my friends.

The next day, we met. I gave him special gifts. A comic birthday card made by myself, a Paul Frank t-shirt and a 100ml Polo Ralph Romance Silver Edition. I celebrated his birthday at the Sultan Abdul Aziz Golf Club. We had had dinner together with a beautiful scene of a golf course. Yes, it's great!! Although it's his birthday, I also felt so much happy with the celebration.

He may not know that I still remember all those sweet memories. Trust me. I can still remember each moment we've shared together. I still remember the first outfit i wore for the early dates of ours. I still remember the first time we met. I still and still....

I still remember the first time we met I did complain about his car. i complain about the smell of the cigarrates. I'm ok with smokers but sometime I can't stand with the smell. I still remember his favorite cigarrate, Marlboro. And I know it is still his favorite.

Last Saturday, I followed a friend of mine who is a technical specialist to do the installation of the internet broadband. He said, his client house is at Ara Damansara. I was surprise to see his car moving to the same route to my ex apartment at Kelana Jaya. Hmm, when we arrived at his client house, the surprise revealed. My friend client's house is at Puncak Nusa is just beside his former apartment, Puncak Sri Kelana. Tears dropped. I couldn't believe that I still remember him.

As far as I concern, he still keep my gifts. Thanks. I've throw away his. The only thing from him that I still keep is my Levi's Ladies Edition which I request him to buy for me. That's the only thing I requested him. I know, one fine day, the jeans will also thrown away, when I found someone who is going to take a good care of me. I believe one day I can forget him forever. I'll be strong.

I know he does not read this. God, please make my wishes for hime come true.

1. May Allah bless you, forever.
2. Don't be late to office anymore.
3. Take a ggod care of your financial.
4. Take care of her, the one you chose.
5. Take a good care of your health. Stop smoking if you can.
6. Don't drive too fast.
7. Throw away my gifts... Enough...
8. Pray for me so that I'll be stronger.
9. Pray for me so that I'll doing better.
10. Pray for me so that you and those memories disapper.

I know you don't read. Happy Birthday. This year, there's nothing for you except my wishes.
*To his friends who may read this, kindly don't tell him that I wrote this emotional thing. This is for the last!!!



*Tears is dropping again. I'm so weak when I know you.


*Kindly, don't make any comment on my writing.